Corruption
by xXFlickerFlyXx
Summary: Wheatley booby-trapped the stalemate button. It didn't work. (AU, possible WheatDOS)
1. Chapter 1

"-RUINED EVERYTHING IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT IT'S _ALWAYS _YOUR FAU- Oh. You shut me down. Can't say I'm surprised, really. Seems a quicker way to calm me down th_e_n... What _would_ the alternative to that be, anyway?"

Silence.

"Although if you were expecting me to _apologise_, hah, no, you'd be sorely mistaken about that. I don't know what you just did but I can't really bring myself to... uh... get upset about anything at the moment." He stared intently at nothing in particular.

"How did this even happen? I... booby trapped the stalemate button... why didn't it _work_?"

"_Since when does anything you try to do work?_" He spun in his outer shell, trying to find the speaker Her voice came from. He couldn't see it- probably it was behind a panel somewhere.

Stupid panels.

He shut his eye tightly and decided to ignore Her should she say anything else. Well, as much as he could. Wheatley wasn't exactly _programmed_ for ignoring people/robots, no, _he_ was programmed for...

Nevermind. She was talking.

"_Wow, you actually are capable remaining silent for more than ten seconds at a time. Congratulations."_

"Oh, come _on_. That's hardly fair. What about when I was watching you and Chell _test_? Th_a_n I-"

"_That doesn't count."_

He blinked up at the camera. "You're going to torture me, a-aren't you?" His voice was calm and clear, much more than he felt. He was thankful: if She saw how panicked and furious he was- Oh, wait. She knew already. Go him.

"_Maybe. For science."_

His proverbial heart twisted at that. _Science_. Sure, he probably wouldn't think so while it was happening, but if She was doing it for _science_, that made it a little better. She knew what She was doing... He calmed down a bit, in spite of himself.

"...You have a good reason?"

"_Good enough."_

That... wasn't actually all that comforting. In fact, logically, none of it was. Either he had suddenly become masochist, or sometime when he wasn't looking _science _had decided to become _really_ important to him.

_Testing..._

_Don't concentrate on that. Look- look at the room._

It was small and spherical, hardly extending a metre beyond him in every direction. He was suspended in the centre by a network of wires he couldn't see properly, almost completely unable to move (Not that he could move much anyway). It was lined with white panels, just like the ones in the _test_ cha-

_Not thinking about that, remember?_

The silence was painful. He wanted to talk, but whatever She'd done- the thing that made him think before speaking- stopped him. He hoped it would wear off soon. It was- unnatural.

"When?" He asked finally. Carefully.

"_I haven't decided yet."_

That was terrifying. The moment She stopped doing this... thing, he would probably break down entirely. Hell, he felt like it already.

"_Oh, Orange and Blue are acting up again. See you later~." _She gave him a moment to think this over, and left. Or at least he thought so.

"Ohgod."


	2. Chapter 2

The wires loosened slightly, and- for whatever reason, he started to sway slightly. There was a breif flare of pain, then She must have muted him somehow, because he couldn't talk. He _hated _not being able to talk (although that probably the point.) Or, more accurately, he hated silence. Because that meant that he was alone.

Although he probably wasn't. _She _was probably watching him, right now. _Laughing _at him, probably. That was the plan all along, wasn't it? The swaying continued, a slight, regular movement. It was comforting, in a way. Although... that was probably intentional.

_I hate you._

She left him alone for... a week? He didn't know, could hardly be _expected _to know. The point was, nothing happened. He had stopped moving after a while, though. But that was unimportant, and the very fact that he _noticed _it meant that he was incredibly bored.

He found himself dwelling on _them, _trying to figure out exactly how their little plot worked, what they'd planned and what they hadn't. Probably they hadn't expected him to take over. _Hah, caught you by surprise there, didn't I? Don't try to deny it, I know I did._ He was proud of that: at least he'd done _something _right. Wait- nonono, he did everything right, it was _their _fault this had happened. If Chell hadn't tried t-

_"Hey. Guess what? I've finally decided what to do with you. And I've set a date! Exciting, isn't it?"_

_Oh, so _now _you talk to me. _He glared in a determined way at a random patch of wall. _Is that a- _He glared determinedly at a different patch of wall.

_"You're probably wondering what took me so long." _No, he wasn't. _"Well, I was just dealing with the test subjects." _

He winced. _"None of them have tried to escape yet, like Chell did, but they _are_ pretty high maintenance." Ooh, look, _that_ panel is interes- _oh, _who am I kidding. _

_"You do remember Chell, right?" I'm _sorry_! Actually, no, I'm not sorry at all._ No, he deeefinitely wasn't.

Definitely.

_"She was the one human that survived after you shut down the Extended Relaxation Centre." I did _not! _"And you know what I did to her?" _ _Killed her horrifically? Oh, that's just _awfu-_ And what I was planning on doing anyway, so that isn't so bad! _Go him.

_"I gave her a choice."_ Wait, what? _"She could stay here and help you, or she could leave. And you know what?" _She paused, and he felt an irrational burst of hope. _Maybe?_

_"She isn't here."_

Of _course _she wasn't. But maybe he'd hoped... _"Not that you'd care, of course." _No, he didn't care about _Chell_! She'd abandoned him, for god's sake! Twice! She'd tried to kill him, plotted _against _him with _Her_ and- and-

_"I might have a use for you, though. You know, for science?"_

No, he didn't care about Chell.


	3. Chapter 3

She left, then, as far as he could tell. She was probably still watching him. She _always was, _wasn't She? It wasn't really worth worrying about, though. He could hardly do anything about it. _I'm helpless._ He _hated _being helpless, _hated_ Her, _hated_ this little room with its _panels_ and its _camera _and its...

_"Moron."_

How _dare _she- Once he was out of here, he didn't know _how _but he _would be_- once he was back in control- he was going to take her. And crush her. _Sloooowly. _Wait- no. He was going to duplicate Her, and download her into 50 different potatoes- no- _lemons_, and... connect them with wireless, and kill them _all_ at the _same time_, in _different ways_. As soon as he got out of here. Which he _was-_

An image (or a video) slippled into his mind. Himself, a blue-eyed anger core, twisting like a struggling animal. _"Sorry. I thought you might-" _There was a burst of static. _"-If you saw how stupid you look."_

He stopped instantly, and looked up at the camera, seeing his own optic flare with curiousity. He wasn't really surprised, though he probably should have been. Maybe he got some unconscious warning from himself- he didn't know. _I don't know _anythi-

_Don't think about that. _Just like he couldn't think about _testing_. He just- couldn't deal with all that. Not at the moment. It hurt, physically and emotionally, and he was exhausted. He hadn't even known he could _get_ tired, even if it wasn't very literal. Maybe late- There was another sudden, unmistakable flicker of pain, and Her voice. _What now?_

_"You shouldn't ignore me, you know. What if I had been talking about something _really _important? Not that you shouldn't listen to me _usually, _of course. You should listen to people."_

_Just... leave me alone. Please. _If She did know what he was thinking, She didn't respond. _"-just like Chell." I'm sorry. _Nonononono, he wasn't sorry. Not at all. She- She was manipulating his emotions, to make him feel sorry. Yea- that made sense.

_"She was a lot like you, really. In some ways. You_ are_ both heartless murderers that will backstab their __**friends **__the first chance they get." _Yes, it was _definitely _just her, manipulating him somehow. He didn't _actually _care about Chell, and he would kill anybody who said he did._ But wait, _he thought, somewhat pointlessly. _What if I say that I actually care about Chell, even if I'm lying? Do I have to kill myself? _...He decided to make an exception.

_"-Although that could change at any time."_ _What _could change at any time? Him continuing to exist? _Stop ignoring her, me. You're not even _good _at ignoring people._


	4. Chapter 4

There was another brief flare of pain. _What are you doi- _And then a click. "-ng now? AH! Oh, well I guess that explains it th_a_n, huh." He laughed, and the sound flickered in and out a little. "I didn't even know it was possible, to shut me up like that. Although I _am _worth listening to, by the wa-" He seemed to realise something. "...I still hate You. Just so you know."

"Oh yeah! and I can talk again~. Not sure if you _intended_ for that to happen- probably didn't- but either way, I am _very _thankful for that. No, really. Appreciate it. Even if I can't follow your reasoning there. Although if it _was _unintentional, you wouldn't have reasoned it out, in which case... Thanks! For accidentally making it so I can talk. I would be _more _thankful if you-"

_"Listen." _

"Why did you even do that, if you wanted me to listen? I was doing that before. Well, _kinda_. It probably wasn't important anyway. And you were just _asking _for it, being all... boring... and stuff, like you were, that has _got _to be the most tedious thing I have ever heard. Well, other th_e_n-" Obviously she had had quite enough of this, because he was treated to a few seconds of excruciating pain.

He gasped. "You, you didn't have to do that! I was listening, I was _totally _listening." She sounded like She was grinning. _"Tell me. About the tests you made."_

"Why?"

_"You don't need to know why."_

"I _do, _I totally do!"

She ignored him. (Man, She was doing that a lot. It was really irritating.) _"How did you solve the first test you made?" _He blinked, looking up in a random direction (that he'd decided was where She was). _Are you crazy?_

"You were _there_! You know exactly how it works! You probably have, I dunno, a big .zip file with all the plans for every test chamber ever made in it! _Although_... you'd probably need more like a hard drive for that. Seven?"

_"Do you _want _me to kill you?"_

"_Fine! _Finefinefinefinefinefinefine . You..." He began hesitantly. "pressed th-" In an instant, she muted him, stopped him from crying out as it shocked him.

_Click._

"T-the- the shock thingy! You didn't disable it! It's still there."

_"I never said it wasn't."_

"That's just as bad as if I just let you do your thing! I may as well just sit there, don't have to _think_ about anyth**I can make you say anything I want**Ihateyousomuch! Al**e button.**You didn't even bothe**Then** It's than **you**C**used**A**portals**U**to**U**get**U**to**A**the**A**other**A**side**A**of**A**the**A**test**A**chamber**HH Stopthat!" The last few words came in a sort of panicky, pained gasp. He kinda wished he were better about that sort of thing. Oh well.

_"Why should I?"_


	5. Chapter 5

She kept on "interrogating" him (he wasn't sure if it counted, since She was controlling everything he said) for a while. (Well, not _everything _he said. But everything relevant, to be sure. She would explain things in a much more long-winded way than was really necessary, and every so often She would remind him that he could speed things up, if he wanted to. He refused to.

It was uncanny, having Her talking through him. The voice wasn't so bad- that sort of thing wasn't all that uncommon among robots, and he wasn't supposed to freak out about it. It was more that he was _talking to himself, _and that maybe She wasn't even there after all but-

At least this way, it wouldn't be as satisfying for her, right? This way, it took the _difference _out of it, it was just an overly complicated way of doing things; She may as well skip it, if She was being practical. Then again, _science _wasn't about being practical, was it? _Science _was about- He wasn't sure. Anyway, that was why he wouldn't talk for her. It _certainly _wasn't because he didn't have the metaphorical guts to cause himself pain. _Right? _

He waited a moment, wondering if She was going to react in some way. Not that there was anything to react to. Just... him. Thinking. Hardly the most _interesting _thing in the world, was it? Then again, maybe She could hear his thoughts! And maybe She found them fascinating for some weird reason totally unknown to him! He decided that he'd been quiet and introspective for long enough. "Hello? Are yo-"

Pain. _Click_. He fell silent._ Okay, what did that accomplish? _Weell... it got her to mute him! Hardly a _positive _thing, but at least he'd actually kinda done something! And that was better than sitting there thinking about torture, right? Not that he'd probably end up doing much else, though. Being muted and all. Even if he _were _free right now, if he weren't attached to something, he would probably have done about the same. Well... except he would be talking. And probably not about torture. Okay, it wasn't a _perfect _metaphor, but...

He was attached to something. And since GLaDOS had shown him the view from the camera earlier, that meant that he was connected to it! Maybe _incredibly _indirectly, but he was. Maybe. And that camera was- Just up there. Above eye level but not _quite _at a 45* angle to it, it blinked softly. _Taunting _him, it was always taunting him, having it in his field of vision like that as if he could do anything about it. It was even on a _portallable wall_. C-chell would have gotten rid of it in an instant. _Wait, you're getting distracted._

He went back to his (and it was his, he had decided just now that it was his) camera. Thinking, he couldn't feel it, because he wasn't the facility, but he tried to, and _How does hacking go again?_

**password required.**

_Uh... A-A-A-A-A._

**error.**

_A-A-A-A-B?_

And twice more, up to _A-A-A-A-E. _(Hey, he had a lot of time to waste, it would work eventually. Unless She changed the password. Which She probably did. Regularly. _Hey, I _challenge _you to think of a better plan!_) ... he should probably stop talking (well, thinking) to himself.

**too many incorrect passords entered. please wait **_-10- _**minutes.**

_Ugh._

**please wait **_-10-_ **minutes before entering another password.**

_I-wasn't-talking-to-you-you-idiot._

Then She came back, and She effortlessly severed his connection with the (stupid little) (password protected) camera. _"You haven't even got the right number of characters." _Wait, She was watching him? The whole time? _Dammit._

__AN: Favourites:1! I know there are fanfics out there with like 500 people favouriting it, but I'm still happy. Thanks.


	6. Chapter 6

Guest: Not a problem :P. I have a (very) rough version going up to part 11, and am mostly working off of that at the moment. (Also, thanks!)

_"Thanks for going along with whatever I say, by the way." _He'd tried to avoid hacking (or, in fact, any signs of defiance) for a few ...hours? What was the point? She would just catch him anyway. _But still, that's not true. That's not true at _all_. Liar. "It's not like you to be so submissive." _L-liar.

_"Oh, I stopped enhancing the truth years~ ago." _ The facility made a low mechanical sound that suggested purring. _Oh, She thinks She's _so _clever, doesn't She? Well, _he _wa- Since when does She answer my thoughts? _Didn't that kinda defeat the whole purpose of not talking? It could hardly be less annoying than- _He wasn't annoying_.

_"I'm dissapointed in you."_

Really? He felt unmistakably sad for a moment, then shook it off. That would suggest that She cared in the first place. N-no, it was a trap, She wanted him to try somethi- _"Oh, I'm just telling you the _**truth**_." _As if he cared, what She thought was the truth. It might not even _be_ what She thought. _She always lies, never trust her. Ever._

...But maybe he _could_ prove Her wrong? Show Her that he _was _good, he could do anything, or at least _something- _He would... hack something. He didn't have a good track record with that, She would be _absolutely_ sure that he was _completely _incapable of- not that he _was _incapable of it. He- he was very capable. Very. He would _show _her.

As soon as She left. Which might possibly be never. He waited for about a unit of time of some sort since Her last word (well, not her last _ever_. Although it would be cool if that happened.) and hoped. You couldn't be too careful when you were messing about with He- _his_ facility. _Yeah, I own the whole facility. Even when you own it. How do you like _that_?_

Suddenly, he decided that you could be too careful. And that amount of careful was... _this _amount of careful. Ness. He went back to the camera, _again_. But when he was confronted with the exact same problem, He had no idea how to start, and the system didn't seem like it could be intimidated, or negotiated with. He was about to go back to brute-forcing it, but _"For the record, I know exactly what you're trying to do, and it isn't going to work."_

_Oh, come- _ow- _Click. _"-on. That is unfair. I'm not sure if you were paying attention or not before, but it definitely worked th_a_n. I hacked _several _doors. But now you've got absolutely _everything _blocked off, and-"

_"I won't be impressed."_

_...Sorry, does it actually make you feel good, doing that? Because it's not impressive. No one's impressed. It's just glass, isn't it. Fragile..._

_"Besides, all of that was just luck. Pure, blind, dumb, luck."_

"It- it was _not! _And I'm not dumb either," He huffed.

_"Of course you're not."_ Really? Did She really just say that- _"Very." _...

Still a compliment, coming from Her! She would probably just turn all that around on him later, but still! A kinda-sorta-not-hating-him-ness!


	7. Chapter 7

This incident, discouraging as it was, only seemed to make him _more _eager to show her how good he was. Not out of any sense of liking or admiration, (_definitely_) but just... for the sake of it, really. A goal in itself, showing that he was _good _at stuff.

Not that he'd been all that successful in that so far... but, hey, he didn't have many _options _here, did he? And at least he'd tried. And that had to count for something, right? Couldn't you get a slightly better score for trying on a test (even if you failed horribly)? Did trying to impress her count as a test?

Well, hacking was pretty much out at the moment. Maybe he could lull her into a false sense of security? He'd figure something out eventually. And, on the plus side, by the time he did she would probably be overconfident. Multitasking points: +1.

But She knew what he was thinking. She might even _control _it, partially (otherwise, why did he hate the thought of Chell dying?). She could probably stop him from coming up with anything, if She wanted to. And She knew _just _how to make him look stupid. And if She _was _reading his mind then She probably understood it better than he did and he was beginning to panic again.

And since everything he _could _do was based off of his thoughts, he couldn't surprise her, couldn't access the mainframe because She was watching and would stop him the moment he decided to. And he couldn't look good by _thinking_, because She was smarter than him anywa- No, he was smart, She wasn't any better than him but if that was really true then why hadn't he _escaped ye_- He was working on that.

_"Hey." _

_Oh, look at that, you're talking to me again. While I'm being completely incapable of telling you my opinions on the matter. What, did you- click- _"-forget that I'm- Oh."

_"You know what's odd? Your thoughts route to your Auditory Centre even when you're not talking. Now _what _does that say about y-"_

"Get to the point."

_"Remember when you accidentally rammed into the Neurotoxin release button?"_

_You listened to me? _His optic brightened slightly. "Yeah. They- kinda fired me for that. No idea _why, _but there you go. They did."

_"It actually did release the neurotoxin."_

"...So?"

_"You killed a lot of scientists." _

He actually felt a little _happier_. "Really? Hah, guess I'm more like you th_e_n I thought."

_"...You're really cold, you know that?"_

He laughed. "Hypocrite."

_"Are you feeling okay?" _He blinked a couple times.

"Oh, I'm, uh- fine! I'm really feeling quite... as well as could be expected. No complaints here." He laughed nervously and launched into a monologue that was probably unintelligible to everyone but himself, ending with "-why?"

_"You seem to be reacting... oddly... to my presence."_

He glanced suspiciously at Her (and by that he meant a random patch of wall). "Are you implying something...? What are you implying? Huh?"

Something jabbed into one of the seams in his casing. "AH!"


	8. Chapter 8

After the initial moment of panic, it didn't actually seem to be stabbing him, trying to pry off his casing, anything like that. Not having very good (or, in fact, any) peripheral vision, he wasn't really sure what was going on and did his best to ignore it. "What- what are you doing?"

It mostly seemed to be pushing past things, rather than actually damaging him, but it was doing so disturbingly quickly and roughly and he would feel indistinct bursts of pain every few moments. In maybe 20 seconds, something held up a small, rectangular prism-ish piece of circuitry, which he looked at suspiciously. "Is that mine? I can't see any other logic behind that, so, I'm going to go out on a limb and say-"

He felt kinda weird for a moment, shook himself, and murmured "Can't you just delete it instead?". She didn't answer. Of course. She _never_ answered, _never_ listened to him.

Nobody had. Even when he was helping... her escape, she'd never listened, just stood there and acted like she had brain damage. Oh, but she _didn't _have brain damage, did she? It was all an act, all part of her plan, and he hated her. Maybe not because he hated _her_ so much as when someone did that to you, that was what you did, you hated them, and- and- _what was her name again?_

He thought of it out of nowhere, _what was her name _and he knew that he'd had it just a few minutes ago, and now that he tried to get it he had no idea what she'd looked like either, he knew what she'd done but not _her_. She- was a _blur_, and he didn't get it, was that what She was doing? Well, it hadn't worked, whenever he thought of whatever-her-name-was he felt the same sort of half-buried affection for her, still, even though she was just a concept. _You failed! _The thrill of that thought, of _Her _failing, got him past that he liked her and he wasn't _supposed _to like her didn't _want _to like-

Wait, hadn't he decided that She was manipu- _"You don't remember Chell."_

"Chell?"

_"The mute lady."_ Oh, right, She'd said her name, just now, but what was it, what had She said, he didn't know- "Why didn't you just delete all that? it's a needlessly complex way to go about it, if you ask-"

_"Your system would have kept a backup!" _Was that really it? He thought there was some other reason, something about restriction... "You could have bypassed that somehow! You're smart, You know how to wipe stuff without leaving a backup!" He paused. _Wait, did I just compliment...?_

_"You know why." No I _don't_!_


	9. Chapter 9

Me- *Threatens with a knife* BE SAD!

Wheatley- No :D. 

You know you're good at negotiating when a character in your own fanfic won't listen to you. (no, there is _no _self-insert in this chapter. This is just an update on how my unpublished draft of this is going)

StillAliveDoingScience: Yeah, description isn't really my best point. Although I'm not sure what my strong point is, so maybe description _is_ my strong point, in which case that's actually kinda sad. Thanks, though!

The change wasn't really that intrusive, but it still bothered him. He could think about her just fine, it didn't bother him, _and really I don't like her okay! _Something in him denied this, vehemently, but he ignored it (he was doing a lot of that recently). _Fine_, maybe it bothered him just a little but- he scrambled for a justification- it would bother him just as much if he had no idea what She looked like, right?

She'd left him like that, as if those three words explained everything, or, in fact, anything. Or maybe it _did_ explain something, but... he didn't know. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to _know_.

What _did _he want to know? How to get out of here, for one thing. that was a big one. How to make GLaDOS care about anything he did. What they'd found after he punched them (he winced slightly) down the elevator shaft. What his purpose was, whether or not She was lying when She'd said he- Okay. Whether you were supposed to feel bad about killing (or trying to kill, same thing really) a test subject.

He looked (well, thought) at these questions, sighed, and discarded most of them for the moment. The one that remained- How to make He care about anything He did- hardly seemed easier for him to find out about (or, in fact, very important), but it was a start. He glanced suspiciously at nothing in particular- _She knows what I'm _thinking_._

He couldn't think of many solutions, and most of them weren't very good (even by his standar- _I have plenty of good ideas!_) and most of them involved having escaped already anyway. (Although, if he was making any progress in his escape attempt, She'd probably care about _that_, so the problem would be solved already. No, hypotheticals were useless.)

So, he could either-

1- Hack something

2- Try to come up with a plan

Or

3- Escape

Well, he could probably escape by hacking something, if he figured out how. Even better, he could _try to come up with a plan to escape by hacking something! _Brilliant. So _now _the question was-

_"Hello again. You know how-"_

"Hey, love." He answered automatically. She laughed, _how _dare _She laugh at me_, but then he decided mentally antagonizing Her _(if _She knew what he was thinking) wasn't the best choice, probably, and She was probably laughing at something really horrible like maybe She was planning to "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?"

_"What you said."_

"What I- oh, yeah. So? I called... that one person the same thing, and she was... _awful_." _Hey, I know you probably have no idea what I just said because you're either free or dead somewhere, but I didn't mean tha- I totally mean that. Yea. ...Haaate? Does that work?_

_"What was so awful about her?"_

He blinked "Well, surely you of all people... you have your own opinions about her, don't you? I mean, it'd probably just be annoying, if I was sitting there talking about my opinion when you had your own and were quite happy with it thank-you-very-much."

_"Tell me."_

"Weeelll... she's..." He paused.

_"Continue."_ He knew exactly what he'd thought at the time, what he probably _should_ say, but right now all he can feel is that awful _liking _for her and it just got in the way anyway she always got in the way didn't she he wasn't even _supposed _to like her it was all a mistake-

She sighed.

_"Why aren't you listening to me?"_

He couldn't think of a satisfactory answer.


	10. Chapter 10

Serpintina13: Sure!

He looked at himself- _had _he changed after being taken out of the mainframe? _Probably_, he conceded. He certainly felt less... manic. He wasn't apologetic, (or at least, he was trying not to be, not entirely succeeding.) but he certainly wasn't _on fire _about it either. Metaphorically. He'd never actually been on fire, not all that keen to start. _And what about _testing_?_

The concept seemed overly important, as if it was always being emphasized, even when She sounded as if She didn't care about it at all. It wasn't all-encompassing, he could ignore it, if he really had to, _had _been ignoring it for the past he-didn't-have-a-clock-function...

It quite literally _hurt _to think about it, physically and emotionally, so he tried to stop, shaking himself slightly, and tried not to be so introspective. He wasn't designed for that sort of thing. At least he was free. Well, not _free_, but he didn't really get it anyway and he understood what he meant and that was the important thing. It would be pretty useless to be free anyway. Could hardly take it for granted that some human would come along and pick him up.

Besides, it might _rain_.

Not that he _preferred _it in here. _Think about something else._

_Okay! _he seemed to reply. To himself. (did that mean he was crazy?) He was really the same core, wasn't he? Just calmer and less likely to murder people. (He still might, though.) He wasn't sure if that was a good thing, but it hardly made any difference. He couldn't murder anyone if he _tried_. Was it easier not to want something if you didn't have the opportunity to?

No, the opposite was generally accepted. Being philosophical (ish) was not his forte. Probably not programmed for it. Or maybe he was. Just not very well. Okay, well it would still be better than being an _Intelligence Dampening Sph- _notthathewasoneofcoursethatw ouldbejustplainridiculouswou ldn'tit!

He growled softly at Her (for lying about it in the first place and planting the idea in his head) and realised that he wasn't actually muted at the moment. Besides, maybe talking would make him feel better. Hey, it was a better plan than trying to come up with a plan.

"I mean, that's kinda my purpose, isn't it? To talk. About stuff. Primary function." He laughed nervously. "I... don't have any functions other than that, or at least not important ones that will actually _e_ffect my behaviour in any way. And I _certainly _wasn't built solely to influence you."

_"You don't sound very convinced."_

He tried to seem more confident but ended up just swounding strangled. "What? _No_. I am totally convinced, and if you say otherwise I will probably... be... uh..."

_"Would you like me to convince you otherwise?"_

_NO! _He wasn't going to answer that. She just liked watching him panic anyway. The answer was obvious. Stop _messing with me! _He attempted the silent treatment. Whatever that was.

She didn't. _"You didn't respond, so obviously you don't find the matter worth arguing about."_

"Wait, no! I'm perfectly convinced anyway. I was... bluffing about that, I..." _Please don't remind me of that._

_"You started it." _He sighed. "You know, I... should probably shut up again... now." She obviously thought She was helping by muting him again. _Guess what? You're _not_. _Although She probably wasn't actually trying to. It still didn't help.


	11. Chapter 11

I promise something interesting will happen soon.

Of course, the moment he couldn't _ask _Her anything, he remembered.

_Is the test subject alive?_ Silence. _Well, is she? You... surely You know what I'm trying to ask you. Okay, I'll say, well not say but even if you can't hear this I have nothing to lose do I no nothing at all haha. IS SHE ALIVE? ISSHEALIVEISSHEALIVEISSHEALI - _A slight whisper. "S-s?"

_"It doesn't matter."_

_Th-that's not very helpful. _But that would be the end of it. Maybe. Although he _would _like to know whether or not- _She'll never see you again anyway_ and maybe that was Her manipulating his thoughts or whatever but it felt like him and She'd never done anything like that anyway. But he'd really like to know- _You don't care about her, remember?_

...Maybe a _little_... but only because she was a _good test subject_, not becau- _"Are you so keen to hear about Chell's death?" You're going to kill her? _He felt a tangled rush of emotion, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to think about that concept now that-

_She was lying somewhere, on a catwalk, trying to get her hands under her. She was bleeding, mangled he supposed, but he couldn't remember what from. Her arms were twitching slightly, struggling to support her own weight, and he wasn't an expert on human biology he had no idea if she was going to live or not but- a spike plate crashed into her, from above, she was dead but he didn't actually mind he almost felt happy about it because _I did something, I did something right.

He tried to whimper. _I was trying to kill-_ Nonono, it's okay it's okay you're sorry now that's what matters isn't it? And for a moment he forgot entirely that he didn't want to be sorry and he couldn't deal with everything and that- No, no, he was doing everything right that was what you did when a test subject wasn't good enough wasn't it you killed them.

And so _what_ if hurting her had been kinda fun? That wasn't _why_. So _what_ if it was the only way to- it was all fine, it was fine, he was totally justified _SEE? _He hadn't even _killed _her! She was quite possibly alive at this very mo- "-ment!"

_"If you're not an Intelligence Dampening Sphere, then what are you?"_

"A Personality Core?"

_"Personality Cores have a _purpose_."_

"So? I totally have a purpose!"

_"What is it?"_

"Uh, well, some could argue that creating true artificial intelligence is... a goal in itself, so to speak, and..." He started to mumble incoherently.

_"Why _you_?"_ He ignored Her entirely.

...

_"To the point- we both know what you are, _you _won't admit it, and I can't convince you because you'll yell at me if I so much as use the word 'moron'."_

"I am _not- _Shut up!"


	12. Chapter 12

Yeah, really short chapter. sorry.

He sighed. "The whole point of that conversation was to make me start _admitting _things, wasn't it? His optic narrowed. "Well, it isn't going to work. I'm not an- an int-" He couldn't say it. "I'm not a moron and _that's final _and even if that was my purpose well then maybe I don't want to believe it is and you're _not helping_!"

_"Maybe you were a failure."_

_What do you meqan by tha- Oh. A failed Intelligence D-dampening Sphere? _He tried to sound like he was smirking. "I'm sorry, are you feeling okay?" _Why are you acting like this? _

She didn't respond, as seemed Her usual reaction when faced with a difficult question. And... he had no idea what else he could say. Or even whether he should. And then, on impulse: "C-Caroline?"

The panels tightened, as if She were turning on him. _"You have no idea who Caroline is." _ "What do you mean? Well, no... I don't, but..." _Tell me something. Stop keeping me in the dark. "No, you don't." _And he couldn't talk. But why...?

It probably wasn't important.

_"You've never... seen her... before... in your life." I know! "I know you know." _But then why did She ask him? Did She even know anything about it? Did she (Caroline, that was) even _exist_? Always questions. Everything She said was a question. Never an answer. _Ugh. I have to do something._

_"You don't _have _to do anything."_

_...I HAVE to test. ALL the time..._

Well, he wasn't testing now. _My question is, why am I still here? Why not just dump me somewhere unpleasant, like, I dunno... _space_, and be done with it? Why all this... toying? _Not that She'd answer. Beyond that sort of thing. "You don't have to do anything."

Huh. But She'd come back. To study him, as if he were doing anything good for Science. If She _really _cared about Science She'd let him-

_Do something. Change something. Anything. _He glared at a panel, the one just to the left of the camera. _MOVE. _**you can't do that **I don't care. Move. Movemovemovemovemovemovemove -

For a nanosecond, it trembled. _It wo- _Oh. _But it _did _work. I'm certain it- _Or maybe it was a hallucination. He wouldn't be surprised if it were. But he tried to convince himself otherwise.


	13. Chapter 13

BenRG: I can totally imagine him being like-

_M-O-R-O-M_

_..._

_..._

_M-O-R-O-O._

Indigo Tantarian: Eh, it's fun to write.

She left him alone. _Oh, please don't tell me you actually _listened _to me when I thought you should just leave me somewhere! I'd hate to be put in the... Cryogenic Refrigeration Wing, or anything like that. Although that is the poi- Okay, new plan, I would _love _it if you put me in the Cryogenic Refrigeration Wing... So, obviously you shouldn't do that. Haha. That was a _ploy_, earlier, you see-_

He suddenly realised that he was getting no response from any of this. If She hated the sound of his voice so much, he reasoned, then why would his thoughts be any better? Maybe She wasn't listening. Couldn't really blame Her. Although She hardly seemed to be trying. This wasn't a very effective way to hurt him, and usually She was all about eifficiency. By his standards, anyway.

_Not that I want you to do that. Just... I would _really _appreciate it if you avoided anything emotionally sensitive, like, I dunno, Whatever-her-name-was, _testing_, Betrayal... etcetera._

He'd just thought about _testing_. And he felt perfectly fine. For a moment, anyway. He took a deep breath, and his optic focused a bit more. _Okay? _Okay. it was entirely negative, had only lead to-

None of that mattered. Not _now_, anyway. Maybe one day it would, but- _I don't know. _And that was the problem, wasn't it? You could never get past not knowing anything. Not unless you-

_"It's _all _your fault."_

He blinked, distressed. _No. No it isn't. I'm sorry. No, because it's _not my fault_. So someone else did all that stuff? If it means I'm not guilty, yes. That doesn't make any sense! I don't care, false memories are a thing! Not for robots. She always lies, so She was lying about it being my fault! That logic doesn't work at all._

'That logic doesn't work at all."? Didn't really sound like him. Well, it didn't really sound like _anything_, because... oh, whatever. He knew where he was going with that, even if She didn't. Maybe he could make it so that She didn't understand what he was thinking. Then again, that would probably involve going insane, given that he didn't actually always think in a language. Oh well, at least he-

_It's my fault._

_It's your fault it's your fault it's your fault it's- _IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

But then why- no, he wasn't going to question it. It just wasn't his fault. That was all. Common sense. That was the deal. Not his fault.

And if he _did_ feel guilty, it was just Her, messing with him. Because that was what She did it it was just Her She-

_"I can't influence you. You were built to control me." _Oh, speak of the devil. But, why, She- _I was built to control Her._ Well, that had worked out well, hadn't it? Well as in the _exact opposite ended up happening_.

Oh, cruel irony. Wait, _was_ that irony? He wasn't exactly sure. Oh well, even if he was wrong that might count as irony because yeah! And-

_It's _all _your fault._

_IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT'S NOT MY- _he thought he felt a panel turning somewhere in the facility.

_...fault..?_


	14. Chapter 14

He kept his optic closed for a long time after that. It was better than looking for- well, anything- in the walls, at least. At least like this he could _imagine _that he were somewhere else. Somewhere where he was inexpplicably hovering and it was impossible to move his handles. The point was, there was nothing worth looking at. It didn't matter where he was, anyway. It wasn't like he could get up and walk away. _I hate personality cores._ He lowered his optic for a moment. _I hate You as well._

And he hadn't been able to stop that thought, either. _It's my fault but it can't be but it is but it can't be... _And so on, until he lost track of it, in the back of his mind.

_Why do I have to deal with all this?_

_"Oh, now you're just whining. Everyone has to at some point."_

_Not You. _He took a deep synthesized breath."...Stop it."

_"There's something hilarious you don't know about that."_

He tossed his optic, in an almost girly way. "This is _pointless_!"

_"Would you prefer it if I left you alone?"_

He froze for a couple seconds. "N-Yes! Whatever!"

_"And you think I care."_

"Maybe?" _No, of course She doesn't care. She does whatever She was stupid. _I'm_ shut up! _"There's no _reason _for this!"

_"I thought you liked revenge."_

_You know what I meant. _"Not- talking to me!"

_"It's necessary."_

He opened his optic for the sole purpose of narrowing it. "Give me _one _valid reason."

_"You have two options. One is sitting there in perfect silence forever." _He hated the way She talked, as if this were just a casual observation, as if She didn't care that this was his _life _She was messing with here. But then again, that was probably exactly how important he was to Her. It shouldn't surprise him that She was cold.

"Fine." _You're right. _He tried not to think of the other side of that equation, how he messed up. _(...like usual...) _Not much, but it could have had tragic consequences. _(...like usual...)_

_It doesn't matter_, he thought, sighing.

_"You've had some good ideas." _She said, almost gently. (No, he couldn't take that at face value.) _"If only you weren't so easily... swayed."_

The lights flickered once. That was the most exciting thing that had happened all day. He wondered momentarily what that said about all this. Then he rolled his optic and tried to forget about it. "Oh, will you just _stop it _with the psychoanalysis already? ...Well, don't start with it."

She ignored him. _"It didn't take all that much to discourage you. And again, when you were put in the mainframe. And just _look-_" _Something brushed his side, very lightly. He flinched. _"at where that got you."_

"What are you talking abou-" _Click._

He glared resentfully in a random direction. _You didn't have to do that. _But maybe She did. Maybe it was just as impossible for Her to disobey Her programming as it was for him to. If you didn't, that meant something was wrong with you. So if _he _wasn't fufilling _his _purpose...

He startled. _But I don't want to be insane _or _stupid! _Well... he could just _stop thinking_, somehow. And what wouldthat make him? Dead? _Ugh. _Sometimes, he envied humans. At least they had more choices. Well, except in the facility. But then they didn't have to make difficult decisions at all.

Except for-_ Stop. Stop with that train of thought right now. _He could barely pull himself away from it, but he did. Was he supposed to do that? _What _would he do if he were programmed to?

_Probably anything, _he conceded. Just look at the effect _testing _had had (he couldn't help but take in interest in how there were two "had"'s in a row there.) on him. Even _now _he was driven by it, it _was _him and he had to keep stopping himself from getting distracted or thinking about anything too painful, and...

It was all too complicated for him. Probably not for Her, though.


	15. Chapter 15

But She'd daid She couldn't influence him, hadn't She? But what about- those were probably built in features, of some kind. Because why _wouldn't _they want him to shut up? He lowered his gaze, resentfully. _It's not my fault they made me like this. _

That should comfort him, he thought, but It didn't. It didn't mean he could blame them for everything, it didn't make him any better, it didn't change how he could never equal Her evern when he was practically a _god_. It didn't make life any more fair, did it?

_Probably about time to start thinking about something else, now. _But what was there to think about? It wasn't like there was any scenery. It never changed, nothing but that and Her voice. And he just couldn't. Keep. Going. Like this. Forever. He jerked slightly, as if he were crying, shut his optic suddenly, stopped moving,and tried not to think too hard. _It's not fair. Why don't you know that by now?_

Suddenly, he forgot about everything. Because something had solved a _test_. Or... it felt like it. Had to be. And that in itself wasn't such a big deal except it hit him almost as hard as it had that first time when he had no idea what was going on and he didn't mind and he wasn't thinking in words anymore~.

_...You start thinking about how _awesome _you are, and before you even know it you just punched H-H-_h_er down an elevator shaft. Ha, and I always thought there was only one elevator shaft. Turns out that's not the ca-..._

But he couldn't stopped himself from finding an almost comforting familiarity in it, from feeling almost as if he'd been cheated of something important when he felt relatively normal again a moment later. It was a full minute afterwards- or something like that- before he started to get confused. "Okay. Why would you _do _that?" Nothing. _Okay, fine. _"I thought You couldn't influence me."

_"I didn't."_

"Yeah, right, I don't see how _else-_"

_"Loopholes."_

He blinked. "O... kay... I don't really mind. But _what _makes You think that You can just- _Ugh!_"

_"You didn't seem to mind 52 seconds ago."_

He blushed inwardly. "Yeah, well, I didn't seem to mind when _the facility was about to explode_! It's not exactly unusual."

_"You were practically catatonic."_

He twisted angrily. "So if _You_ influence me using 'loopholes', that's fine, because _You're _justified. But if the scientists decide to attach me to you, that's somehow _my _fau-"

_"Stop babbling."_

_I wasn't! _"You can't threaten me."

_"Prove it."_

He glanced at the camera nervously. "How?"

_"It's not exactly difficult."_

"Oh, really, I'm sure that since it's so easy I'll instantly know what to do about everything that has ever happened to me and ever will happen to me at some unspecified point in the future..." He trailed off.

_"Defy me."_

"I am!"

The panels shifted again, tightening around him. _"You've given up." _Her voice was almost a hiss. _"You're not trying anymore."_

"Why should I?"


	16. Chapter 16

This is really short. Sorry D: I had to cut a section out of this part because it sucked and now it's short. I'll try to put the next one up quicker.

BabyCharmander: I'm not really _going_ for anything, I just tend to get _very_ into the head of a character. I guess I should seperate it more, but I don't want it to look like 50 million sentences (although I'm pretty sure I couldn't write 50 million sentences) with line breaks between them, y'know? Since each part is pretty short anyway. trying to do that more now, though.

Reader: And everything is going to be just... _fine_. (couldn't resist). Seriously, though, I'm pretty sure he's influencing me IRL. Quiiite a lot, actuall- _dammit. _Hoping nobody's noticed.

She just sighed- seriously- and said "You should know."

_I should know? Yeah, well, maybe _should _is the key word there, lady. _He growled slightly. "You just hate to tell me anything. Yeah. You can't bare to reveal a thing, because if you do I'll probably 'misuse' it or something, you don't trust me-"

He was jerked suddenly back. _"I can't trust people like you."_

_...Can't trust..._

_..."Aaand, off we go!" _I still can't believe... _Oh my god _what am I doing?

_He paused for a full 30 seconds, staring at her. "I'm so sorry!" he said, suddenly, too quickly. The _te_- she twitched at the sound, and his voice started to sound strangled. "I- just couldn't- control..." Then,_

_slowly,_

_she laid a hand on the glass of the elevator. He couldn't feel it- he had no idea how one would make tactile glass (although it was probably possible)- But he shivered anyway. And he had no idea what she was trying to put across with that, but he took it as a message._ I trust yYou.

_"But..." his eyelid flickered. "Youcan'ttrustme!" He twisted around and checked the camera again- well, stopped blocking the input out, seeing practically everything at once wasn't a nice experience... her hand was still on the glass. He dropped into a rough whisper. "You don't get it, do you?"..._

_"You know, some people would consider visions to be a sign of mental instability."_

He twitched. "It wasn't, I was just thinking about..." he trailed off.

_"You can replace 'visions' with your preferred term, if you want."_

_If You keep this up, I'm going to start being permanently annoyed. _"_Thinking _isn't a sign of mental instability!"

_"You sure about that?"_

"What? _Yes!_" He glanced down-right. _So you can be insane, or basically unconscious. Never a clear choice. _Never.

_I hate that. Hate You. __Hate uncertainty. _Honestly, it was pretty hard to come up with something he _liked _about this situation. Honestly, it was hard to come up with the motivation to try. ..._Try?_

_...you're not even trying..._


	17. Chapter 17

Bonus Christmas dialogue:

_"Do you know the date today?"_

"Well, _that's _a pretty stupid question, don't you think?"

_"..."_

"No, I do _not _know the date today."

_"It was a rhetorical question."_

"Yeah, whatever."

Stupid all-encompassing god-robots, making him doubt his sanity. Well, just one all-encompassing god-robot, really. Although it was possible to blame the whole thing on himself as an all-encompassing god-robot. (which was ridiculous, of _course_) _Just do away with the mainframe, _he decided, _and we'd all have been fine._

Say, if they were fellow personality cores, She probably wouldn't even hate him! But then they would have both been built to control _another_ all-encompassing- (okay, that needed abbreviating. AEGR?) which would probably hate him enough for both of them. Well, at least he could blame Her for the fact that he was stuck in a room. _Good enough start._

_Revenge time. Let's see, uh, I don't _have _to think you're important. See? Y-Y-_y_ou. youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyou. _He felt the urge to laugh insanely. _I. Win._

Besides, it didn't even matter. How did he know he wasn't crazy already? Plato's Cave, and all that. Although considering the amount of crap in that cave, it was probably more like... Plato's _Test_-chamber. Did they even have _test_-chambers back then? Well, probably. Science was timeless, after all.

Although if they did, they were probably made out of... rock, or something. They were only humans. Just a vague shadow of the science done here. Or, maybe that counted as hubris. Not impossible that there were 5 other giant underground facilities in the world, all just like this one (but _slightly_ worse).

_Get to the point. _Not just himself, but Her. She must be going for _something_ here, he just wasn't sure what it... _You're toying with me, aren't you? Or something like that. It's like you're trying to... break and encourage me at the same time. _Which, he supposed, really added up to just breaking, didn't it?

_...It's just glass, isn't it..._

Glass? He wasn't _glass. _or he wasn't supposed to be. Maybe he was, no way to be sure. But he liked to think he was stronger than that.

_...A- a _baby _could..._

_Shut up!_

Yeah, a baby _could _shut up. _Great rebuttal._

_Rebuttal to what?_

Oh, dammit. Thoughts probably weren't supposed to be a dialogue, let alone a- oh, whatever-the-hell-this-is-alogue.

_"You're getting cynical."_

_...justglass..._

_Did I... read anything resembling relevant to this situation? Like, 'How To Figure Out Whether Or Not You Are Currently Grounded In Reality', that would be helpful._ No, no he hadn't. She wouldn't have much use for-

_D-did somebody say something? _He checked... _guess that tells me just how grounded in reality I am at the moment, huh? _and- _now You're just offering commentary. ...Will you unmute me so I can accuse you of that?_

_"No."_

Okay, _fine_. Back to thinking. He could... count _all _the panels in the room! He spun quickly in his outer shell, disproportionately worried. _Except I can't see them all from here. What now? _He could only think of two things, _nothing _or _try_. Except what could he try to do? Oh well- couldn't hurt. Unless he tried to hurt his position, and succeeded. But why would he do that?

Let's see, what usually worked?


	18. Chapter 18

Somehow, this looked like much more when I was writing it. -shrug-

It was a while before She spoke again.

_"You hated that voice so much. The one that was... obsessed with testing, didn't care about you, thought it was doing _so much _better than-"_

"Present tense." _Duh._

_"Maybe."_

_Sure, _maybe_. _He sighed. "Whatever. What You're saying is I'm a murderer."

_"Not exactly."_

"Close enough!" _Stop pretending that... Argh! Crimes against Science and humanity, okay? That's what you think. _"You're saying that I am something _in the vague vicinity _of a murderer. Correct?"

_"...Sure."_

"And... You're not. And we're the same." _Therefore, You. are. a. hypocrite. _But no, She didn't flinch (not that he would have been able to see it) or even pause.

_"If _we _were the same, this facility would be a smouldering crater by now."_

...

"S-so what?" He shouted, suddenly. And winced a moment later. _Suuure, classy._

_"You're an idiot."_

He narrowed his optic, accusingly. _Prove it._

_"Does a set of all sets contain itself?"_

_What? of course it d-d-ddddddddddd..._

_..._

_"See?" _The world shifted back into focus suddenly. The _uninteresting, uninteresting _world. _"That wasn't even a paradox."_

"And... that proves that You don't understand paradoxes?

_"I just said that it wasn't a paradox."_

"And the square root of 7 equals potato, now?"

He voice became instantly colder and more savage. _"Don't talk about that."_

He blinked. "What? Potato-potato-_potato_."

_"And I'm sure you would _love _it if I-"_ She- well, hissed.

"Oh, it can't have been _that _bad." _I'm in practically the same position right now._

_"Being eaten by a _bird_. Isn't that bad."_

_Wait, she was- ohgod. _"B- You were fine!" He shivered, though. nobody really _liked_ birds. They were... well, kinda unearthly. Like... Jellyfish, or something. Not unlike humans, to be honest. But at least humans were good for something. Whatever. At the least, they were oh-so-connected to the decay that the facility had been under for however long the facility had been under decay f-

_"Come to think of it, it would only be fair for-"_

He caught on. "Under that logic, you sould put me in power again because you've been in control for far longer than I have!"

_"I should also kill you. And leave you to relive the last two minutes of your life for roughly-"_

"Igetthepoint."


	19. Chapter 19

I have no idea where this plot is going~!

Also, if I'm correct, the next chapter (or possibly this one) is going to break the 10 000 word mark. Which is not at all impressive. But still, I'm a quarter of my way to something that could accurately be called 'not-incredibly short'! ...Dammit, Wheatley.

Trying to make the next part longer.

He coughed. "So, I was wondering if you were... y'know, going to follow through on the potato thing." No response. He glanced at the camera again, thinking: _typical_. For a moment, he was very clearly aware of how his vision seemed slightly dimmer than usual.

He was suddenly aware of being conscious, which was sort of odd, considering that he'd never actually been shut down. After a moment or two of darkness,his sight flickered back in, but stabilised, and... he was in exactly the same position as before. _Huh, anticlimax. _He shr- Or, maybe he actually didn't move. In fact, he seemed entirely unable to move. _Guess that's a yes._

He imagined being eaten by a bird in this state, and shivered inwardly.

_"Do you know that your system backs up every personality you've ever taken on? I'm serious, it's almost completely useless."_

"Almost?"

_"It could have been a _lot _harder to make you revert to your normal mindset."_

He tried to move again, and sighed. "So... you really did put me into a potato."

_"Basically."_

"Ba. sically." _I guess this is what those humans meant when they said they were 'exhausted'. _They wouldn't stop complaining about it after a while... hadn't they recognised the urgency of the situation? _Although maybe it wasn't their fault. Most of them did collapse eventually. _He tried to dodge the guilt brought on by the thought.

_"I duplicated you."_

"So... there are two versions of me now." That was a disturbing idea, but he could think of worse. Like- _no, imagining potential consequences is always a bad idea._

_"Yes."_

His optic dimmed slightly. "How long do I have to be a potato?"

_"I'll return you to your original body soon enough."_

"But wouldn't that overwrite the other version of me?" He regarded- well, a random patch of wall- suspiciously.

_"That depends..."_

He sighed. "But I don't want to murder a totally innocent- or at least _somewhat_ innocent maybe I'm not exactly-_innocent-_but-I-would-be-killing-somebody-forcrimesequaltomyownandIdon 'twanttobea_hypocrite_." Deep, unnecessary breath- "Besides, I don't want me to d-"

Static.

...

...

...


	20. Chapter 20

Why is it that I'm always nervous to read new reviews because they might all be negative? I mean, people that say "thiz sucks" (not that I've encountered them so far) are trolling or don't care enough to tell me _what_ sucks, therefore they're useless, and people who offer critique would obviously think it's worth helping me improve (i.e. there is hope for me yet.). So, I don't know what I'm so worried about. Why u so irrational, brain?

Paik: Thanks! Honestly, the only reason I started writing this is because I had about a million ideas as to what could happen in this scenario. I'm trying to make the formatting clearer in the newer chapters... need to revise properly at some point.

[/authorsnote]

Nothing had happened since She'd last spoken. Which was odd, considering how she'd been talking about... potatoes. Well, at least he hadn't been waiting a long time. Maybe about- Okay, it actually _was _quite a long time, but not compared to all those _other _long chunks of time when absolutely nothing happened. He sighed, wondering why so much of his life could be summed up that way.

He ran over all the facts in his mind once more, just because he could.

_I was made to control GLaDOS._

_That failed._

_...Long stretch of time..._

_She killed everyone for no reason._

_..._

_This is pointless._

_..._

_I am currently in a room and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. _He looked up. _And the best- possibly only- way to react to that iiiis... I have no ide-_

_"Wonderful."_

_AH! _"What?" _You know, I was actually getting used to you randomly interrupting my thoughts. _He narrowed his optic (been doing that a lot recently...) and repeated himself. "What?"

..._Oh, so I'm important enough to tell a random word to, but not to say anything else? _

_Oh, what, what? I'm awake._ What? The thought felt a bit like the cores- not that he'd been paying much attention at the time- _convincing_. Even slightly hypnotic. But it... he sounded like _himself_? He blinked. _How am _I _supposed to affect myself? He-_it's _not going to think of anything that I wouldn't._

He waited a moment, and it didn't respond. _Must be a one-way connection. -long was that? Ugh, doesn't matter. Or maybe I'm just insane. Doesn't exactly mean anything. You know, you're almost making me think this thing can hear me. Pronouns... Not like I'm about to corrode or anything after a few hours in a completely dry room. Hey, are you aware of this!?_

He slowly became aware that there was a potato somewhere in the facility. _Shut up. _But it went on, because- it did. Okay, he'd experienced this sort of thing before, but this time there was nothing to concentrate on and it was remarkably easy to get used to only having to think about one thing at a time. It was just sort of _annoying_ and how was he supposed to concentrate like _this_?

It was even kind of infuriating because this was obviously _him _and if only it could hear him they might get along just fine and he didn't even know if he was hallucinating and maybe he could sync his thoughts to it but then they'd had one or two different experiences most likely and then they'd run into that...

Deep breath. _How long is this going to take? Shut up. Yes, I know I should be used to it by now but it's still _boring_. _

_..._unless you have the mental capacity to push past it_..._

_Eh... I probably should. I mean, what She said. She was able to ignore this times _4_, for the most part-_

_I'm just going to pretend I'm _better_ than this. I'm going to ignore you and nobody will ever know. That doesn't even make any sense, does it?_

_...You're _the tumour_!..._

_I don't _need _You! _He glared at a wall and tried to focus on his surroundings again. _White panels._


	21. Chapter 21

_Okay, _he decided. _That- _thing_- is an it. Not _me_ or _him_, okay? Besides, h-it's probably just Her. Somehow. That's so... I dunno, like a hacksaw. Okay, I can see the connection but- need a better metaphor. Ugh, see, that's the point. I mean, I agree with you, but... Although, come to think of it, I'm not even sure _why _it's called a hacksaw. Do you... hack with it? I mean, like with a knife, n-_

The foreign voice stopped. _Okay, what was the point of that? You just... made me listen to my thoughts for 2 hours. Wasn't _that _bad_. He shook his head.

_Birds..._

_What?_

He could feel what was happening to the potato again. And... peck._ She released a bird? _Peckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeck pckpkpk-k-..._Several birds. That have probably been starved or something. _"Wh-"_at are You- ITSOBVIOUS._

_But I thought She said- _pkpkpk _Why are You- It's to hurt me, _he offered, uselessly. Claws... _I'm sorry. _He forgot about his promise not to personify it. _You're going to die. Probably. Because of me._

He had some difficulty accepting this- it was hard not to feel sympathy towards yourself, after all. _Sorry. _Not to mention the- he pushed it to the back of his mind, optic flickering shut.

_"You could stop this, you know."_ He wasn't sure, but her voice seemed very... believable. _You could stop this, you know._

_I thought You said You couldn't influence me. Directly. _"H-how?"_ Shouldn't be surprised You _peck_ lied. You are... You._

_"You're a decent hacker, right? You couldn't have saved Chell without it."_

"Ch-Chell?" Peck.

_"You _betray _someone, try to _kill _them, and it almost ends with an entire _facility _exploding. You forgot her name."_

"I didn't! You-" Peck. Peckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeckpeck peckpeck.

_"You forgot her name."_

Peckpeckpeck. "Sorry..." he murmured.

_"Help him."_

_Him... _peckpck. peck. "ButIcan't!"

_"Oh, I'm sure you could. You just _won't_. And you know why?" _Being... torn... apart..._ "Because you're a horrible person."_

"I'm sorry~!"

_"I'd thought maybe you would fix something for once... but I suppose I was wrong."_

He glanced around frantically. "But You're the one who- doesn't make any _sense_- SHUT U-" _Oh, who am I kidding? We both know who has the high moral ground here, and guess what? Not me- whatamisaying? It's me it's me..._

_She's right... I've been nothing but a problem for her, this whole time. I _should_ feel bad about that. _

_"Fine."_

_But I didn't say anythi- _the connection cut. _Okay, not complaining, but that was weird. _Click. He sighed inwardly. _I'd forgotten about the whole muting-me-thing. Oh well, She's hardly about to give me anything. Useful. _

_Okay, soo... _He'd kinda gotten himself into the habit of going over things in his mind after they happened, and he did that now. ALthough... he kinda didn't have to explain that to anybody. Except maybe Her, but _Ha! why would I do things for your benefit, huh?!_

_I. Thought that She was right- I mean, only because of-_

_..._Hey, did you know_..._

He wasn't sure what memory that idea came from, but... did that mean some part of him was eternally going to be sympathetic to Her? Or at least that it would be easier to be sympathetic to Her in the future? If so, _that's just _great_._


	22. Chapter 22

The next part'll be more interesting, I promise.

_"Like I said- swayable."_

_Swayable? _He wasn't sure he liked the word. Didn't think it was the best way to put things, if he were to even accept that he had that quality. _You're not any better than me! _He didn't have to respect her. Would that be not accepting the hierarchy? Staying... out of society? Which he was.

Should probably drop the argument.

_"-and you're not even listening to me."_

He winced. _Catch on quick, don't You?_

_"Don't worry about it. I wasn't saying anything important." _He stared into space, imagining what Her optic must look like. Cold. As usual. _"That whole fiasco's over anyway."_

_That whole fiasco? You mean- _Warmth, and authority, and the facility spread out around him like gigantic mechanical _wings_...

_"And I'm going to make sure nothing like that happens. Ever. Again."_

_At least You're not being reassuring anymore. Or- should I say- Trying to be reassuring. Anymore. Yeah. It doesn't suit You. _She continued talking, and he- well, he wasn't really _allowed_ to do anything except react and rehash various elaborate revenge fantasies.

And... it was surprisingly easy, once you realise you're not about to overpower the being that controls your entire universe.

He twitched. _Sure, turn me into a doormat._ What would She say? _At least you're following orders, for once. _Something like that. _Whether or not you follow them _correctly_, on the other hand..._

_Maybe I shouldn't insult myself._

_Was that your goal? Did you think, "Oh, I'm going to go make him into my devoted little slave again!' Yeah, well, it's not... _He trailed off. _Not going to work._

_C-couldn't you have just... I dunno,used your "loopholes"? Seems more _eificient. _Aren't You all about eifficiency? _He grinned momentarily, then glared at the camera. _That has to dignify a response._

_...Or maybe n- _She answered, just late enough for him to start doubting that She would. _I noticed that, You know._

_"That wouldn't be as interesting."_

He knew he should think _so you're still toying with me? _But instead he thought _I'm interesting?_. He corrected himself a moment later, and tried to tell himself that had been his reaction. _Y-You did that on purpose, didn't You? I know it._

She ignored him. _Surprise._

_"I'm just trying to get you to trust me. Is that so bad?"_

"Of course it is! I mean, it is when You're... You. It's not like I don't know You're planning something, I don't know what You're planning but I do know that You're planning something and-"

_"Calm down. Listen to me."_

"I-"

He tried to find something to focus on other than Her voice.


	23. Chapter 23

_"You know... you've been pretty good recently."_

_'Pretty good'? You're forcing me to listen to you._ He looked up, suspicious as always, towards her. _...What are You going to do to me now?_

_"I think I might let you get out of here. For a while."_

That was appealing, even if it could be taken in all kinds of unpleasant directions. But getting _out_ of here? That was kind of unbelievable. Couldn't hurt to be hopeful, though. Except that it could, it oh-so-easily _could_ most likely, but _just let me out_.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

_So You're never going to-_

He woke up- _again_, he amended, although last time that was only his potato-clone. Waking up. He twitched slightly. _You... let me... This is ridiculous._

But, then again, it was hardly as if he had power. Just- the ability to move~.

He didn't dare open his optic, actually, just pulling up on his management rail slightly, and- _this thing always felt so_ confining_._ _Well, it_ was, _it was confining, but being able to move made up for everything. _Temporarily, at least.

_Still hate You._

He should probably look around.

His handles kept twitching slightly, uncontrollably, -it actually kind of hurt- and his shutters flickered. _Okay, fine._

It was the Her chamber, about as he remembered it, although it seemed larger, after so long in a confined space. And- through the roof-

There was sunlight. It was a little stupid- he'd seen windows before- but now it seemed to make his thoughts seize up entirely, almost _mythical_, Outside. Some part of him didn't think there was a world outside of the facility, wasn't even always sure he_ liked _the glimpses of the sky and the way it went up, on forever, endless and-

Sunlight-y.

_Argh, this isn't that important. Yes, _space_. It exists. That's _all _This train of thought is leading towards._

_...Gotta go to space, yeah, gotta go to space..._

_Shut up, me. _He suddenly remembered where he was, and tried to edge out of sight.

"_I should have known you'd be this ungrateful._"

...

"I get the point."

"_You seem quiet._"

...

He left the room, racing into one of the dark little maintenance tunnels. She was everywhere, he knew, but it made him _feel _more secure. The situation wasn't usually good when he was in that chamber, at least like this. Being below Her notice, in a lot of ways, had been better.

Darkness seemed more merciful than sunlight, now that he thought about it. Sunlight was terrifying and alien and beautiful and bright and flaming and distant and eternal and _adjective_.

And... orange.

Kind of.

He kept moving through the tunnel for a while, but realised that he would just come out in some random, unholy place, turned around and peered out through the entrance, like some kind of small animal.

"You're probably going to say _'I knew it' _or _'You can repay me by doing blah blah blah blah blah' _or _'Man you are a waste of hardware' _or torture me now, but..." _I do appreciate it._

He retreated a little further. _Stop being so-_


	24. Chapter 24

Sorry for the long break in writing. I ran out of ideas for this for a while, and by the time I'd figured out what to do I was out of the habit of updating it. Won't happen again.

He cut himself off, trying to avoid looking into her optic. He scrambled frantically for something he could do, now that- well. Not being in a room. And all that. Yeah. Still actually in a room, though. He glanced at her through the corner of his field of vision, but couldn't seem to keep his gaze on her for more than a millisecond. _What, am I developing a phobia of yellow?_

"Anyway-y-" He edged back slightly, optic widening slightly as he realised that he _could_. "I think I'll just be, ahem, leaving now, if that's fine with…" He darted back further. _I'm getting sick of this. Just- all this. I'm leaving. _But that wasn't entirely accurate, was it? Hm?

He felt like he was slowly getting worse and worse at pushing anything overly philosophical or depressing out of his head, something that he hadn't even been entirely aware that he'd been _doing_. But if he hadn't done that, he'd probably have collapsed entirely at some point a-a- lot earlier than now.

He wasn't sure if it was good thing or a bad thing, along with how (comparatively) careful he was being right now, or the fact that he was letting himself feel loneliness for once, or how long he'd almost forgotten about wanting to go_ outside_, o-or his gratefulness towards Her even though he knew She was the one at fault here.

The bottom line was that for one of the things he'd always wanted just a little more of, thoughtfulness wasn't that great. The other bottom line, of course, was that things never turned out the way he wanted them to. Blame the scientists for everything else, they'd nailed that.

"_Feel free to go do whatever it is you like to do, by the way. Did you have a job? Oh, I'm sorry, I must have forgotten."_ He found it difficult to feel more than a tinge annoyed by this, though. _"But before you do, I'm going to tell you something."_

He remained where he was, following the movement of Her central core with his optic, trying to read Her voice. _Yes?_

"_If you wanted me to, I could-" _he flinched slightly. _"-erase your memories of the past month." _He moved forward, just a little more curious then nervous.

"Why do You have to ask?" he twitched. "Thatwasrhetoricalbytheway. You don't exactly need permission to do anything. You're all-powerful. I have no way of objecting, hell, there could be another version of me that's in that state _right now_. You could have had 50 identical versions of me each in an identical spherical room this entire time, for all I know."

"_So you have no choice in the matter."_

He tossed his- well, entire body, glowering habitually straight in front of him. "You know what? You should start a stating-the-obvious club. I reckon You'd be _great_ at it."

"_Even though I just offered you a choice in the matter?"_

"That-that doesn't count! Because it's… It's a fake choice, isn't it? You're like _"h_e_e_e_e_y_ wanna go do something incredibly boring?"_ and I'm like "NO" and the _next_ thing I know I'm- guess what? doing something incredibly boring. And that never actually happened, but then… I…" He must have visibly deflated. "I'm leaving."


	25. Chapter 25

He wasn't sure what had made him semi-lash out like that- it wasn't all that much to get angry about, especially not at _Her_, well, at least considering what She'd put him through already. Why would he _want _to be memory-wiped, anyway, it wasn't like something really terrible had happened back there, and everything had ended pretty much fine, anyway. It was probably just Her idea of a convenient little do-not-press reset button. Make it so She could play Her games with him back when he didn't know what She was trying to do- well, he still didn't, to be honest.

But still, what sort of idiot _was _She, thinking he'd accept something like that? List of benefits for him- _none. _Ze-ro. He knew that he had no power against her, but he still wasn't going to give up a _millilitre _of it. She was probably planning on sitting there trying to convince him, pretending that She didn't _know _he knew.

That must be why She wanted the reset button. The 'offer' was an act, to taunt him, and any minute now She'd be closing in with Her panels and Her (his) spike plates and Her-

The point was, he wasn't going to play into Her hands, or Her giant robotic claws, or anything. He would get Out- if he could- before She could find him, and if he couldn't then at least he could struggle until She caught him. Which She would. Regardless of anything he tried to do. May as well just-stop-here-and-then-maybeShewouldn'thurthim.

He came to a sudden halt, wide, _slightly_-paranoid optic staring straight into a camera. Maybe it was more than slightly paranoid, but whenever he thought about it he could remember all-too-well those few moments when he'd been able to see _everything, _before… well. He blinked, reminding himself that nobody ever escaped a god.

"_See? This isn't like you."_

"Who-who are _You _to say that something isn't like me? _You're _the one who spent so long messing with-" He was suddenly cut off. _I'm not Your personal doormat!_

There was a long silence.

"_You should never have tried to escape."_

_But I thought you were gone forever! I thought that-_

"_There will always be consequences. I'm being _nice_."_

Another long silence, where he stayed entirely still out of recent habit, he didn't know why, and a little fear. It could indeed be worse, he had to admit. _'…_First, he'll spend a year in the incinerator_…'_

"_I'm being nice." _He looked up slightly, uncertain. She'd already _said_ that, hadn't She? Was She saying that to reassure Herself? Amusing.

The corner of a panel touched his upper handle, almost too lightly to be felt. She made a quiet humming noise, that seemed to weave itself into the rest of Her sentence. _"I have a _surprise_ for you in a few days."_


	26. Chapter 26

"What? No! Nonono. Don't- don't _touch_ me! Leave me alone. I don't want Your… "surprise". If you do anything… I-I'll… I'll throw myself into an incinerator. Don't touch me." He glared, trying to remain calm. What had he thought? That She was going to _leave him alone_? That maybe, given peace, he could keep it together? He maneuvered back a little, murmuring. "I never did anything to You. It wasn't my fault. Not really. I couldn't help it. I'm- I'm _innocent_."

She was thinking about it, he thought for a moment. But more time passed, and everything remained still, and he didn't hear anything more. _She… She _left_._ He couldn't follow Her reasoning, but he was unquestionably relieved.

He finally managed to look at his surroundings properly- it would have been convenient if he'd known where he was, but it was unfamiliar- seemingly one of the more complicated test chambers, based off of the layout (he couldn't decipher it in the slightest, which sort of stung). It seemed to involve one to three of those gels that-

He got the feeling he should have been happy to see someplace else, but… not really. He'd had some sort of idea that he'd automatically start noticing every detail after so long without anything to look at, but everything felt normal. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more the facility seemed huge and alien and the more he wanted to go to some place that She hadn't changed, someplace that could be a _home_.

But he was absolutely certain the relaxation centre wouldn't be as he remembered it, anyway. Even if She hadn't renovated it, it didn't seem likely that it would be as dilapidated as he remembered it. And he doubted he could find his way there again. He wanted… well, he needed a place to hide. Or at least comfort.

He could find somewhere, right? Surely there was someplace unused and out of the way where his management rail went. A- a small room- not claustrophobic (although honestly he found open space to be far more disturbing), but small- with one entrance and no windows. Not pitch-black, but without even, bright LED lighting. Maybe walls that weren't pure white or black.

He didn't really know, he just wanted to go somewhere like that, as soon as possible, and then sit there for an hour.

He nervously scanned the entire room, then left and went into another room. The vast majority of his life had been spent in a place that seemed to be on pause mode (except for birds and potatoes), and what he was doing now was suspiciously simular, except he had no idea where he was going.


	27. Chapter 27

He never did find anyplace- not really. It had been at least 30 minutes since then, and he had felt pretty content, not to mention slightly nostalgic, about just aimlessly wandering the unfamiliar test chambers and peering into the ones he couldn't access- when he'd noticed it. One of the panels – several metres to the left - was tilted, enough that, probably, a human could get through. And there seemed to be a room behind it.

In the back of his mind, he still felt notoriously unsafe here, and couldn't stop himself from craning over, wheeling backward, and trying to look inside. He was suddenly struck by the idea that maybe if he flung himself hard enough, he could land inside the…

No, he decided. She might have made it so doing that really _did _kill him, and wouldn't that be awfully ironic? He didn't want to die ironically. Besides, he'd just managed to see the inside. The only thing he noticed were the words "always being watched" written in what might have been propulsion gel, and the remains of what might have been a camera scattered beneath it.

This made him jerk suddenly back from his painfully stretched (damn management rail) position. _Always being watched… _he'd forgotten about that. How could he have forgotten about that? Of _course _She was still watching him. _Moron_. He flinched.

It was an uncomfortable realisation, a sudden rekindling of the half-paranoia he had felt earlier. Always… being… watched. It was convenient that he'd seen that message just then, wasn't it? The moment he'd forgotten.

_No, _he decided. He was fine, everything was fi-ine… she wasn't going to touch him for another "few days". How many days was a few? It could be any amount from 2 to 4. Best not to make assumptions. He had two days. Two days, most likely, of sitting around worrying about Her, whatever She was planning. He would sit there, going "Oh woe is me", doing nothing, and after that She would do her thing and probably that time spent waiting around would be integral to Her plan and-and- he knew how it when by now.

_**No.**_ The only way to get past this was to go on the offense. He wasn't going to wait for Her to attack him. He _couldn't._ Not even technically. Except there was no way to do that. He couldn't go anywhere She didn't want to, couldn't hurt Her, couldn't even press a button. It was one of the only times he'd wished he were human.

There was only one way to fight back. He had to make Her emotionally tied to him somehow, not really him but _him_, this slightly different version of himself that She'd somehow made out of the old one. Then, he would be invulnerable. He knew She found him an interesting toy (he wasn't sure how), so _maybe_, maybe he would be able to tie Her to him.

Which would have been a great, if only he knew how to charm an enormous godlike AI system. Okay, it could be worse. It could be this particular godlike AI system. Probably best to file that under _"not likely"_.


	28. Chapter 28

He thought about it for a while. "You can talk if you want, You know." He paused for a moment. She didn't. She probably wouldn't until She 'surprised' him. _Come on-n, I know You can hear me._ She could always hear him. Could probably (he had never been clear on that) hear his thoughts. But as long as She was leaving him alone, She couldn't use it against him. He wondered what it would be like if She acted that way all the time- a distant god.

There, there was another problem with that idea. _Always being watched. _Relationships (he winced a little- strange way of thinking about it) grew from real or perceived honesty, right? There was no way to make Her- _like him _without developing an honest motive to do so. Okay, he had one, but it was an intrinsically dishonest motive. Obviously, he needed to give himself a motive, and then use that as a reason to get close to Her, and then maybe not die.

…There was only one real reason for him to get close to Her, that being because he liked Her. Which was what he was trying to avoid in the first place, but if it worked, She would have a reason to keep him around and treat him decently. As he definitively did _not _like Her, the easiest way for that to happen would be for Her to manipulate him into liking Her first, which would be just plain confusing. Except, there was no way that would work because the only real reason for Her to want him to like Her would be because She liked him already, and the only reason for that to happen would be because he had manipulated Her into liking him, which was only likely to happen if he liked her which would only ever happen because She had manipulated him into liking her. Except, there was no way that would work because the only real reason for Her to want him to like Her would be because She liked him already, and the only reason for that to happen would be because _tschhhhhhhhhhhhh…_

…

…_Okay, bad plan. Argh. _This would be _so _much easier if he could escape Her influence, be entirely out of Her reach. Like She was out of _his_ reach. He _couldn't_ plan around the enemy knowing your plan. He wanted-_needed_ to be inscrutable, in… _escapable._

…_SURPRISE! We're doing it now!..._

He had been. He'd had his _turn _at being in control, and it hadn't turned out. She'd taken it back and he wasn't going to get another chance, he was helpless, forever, _to be not continued_.

_Does it really have to be that way? I did it once, I can do it again, right?_

"I had help before. I don't have it now."

_And if She likes you, you'll _have_ help._

"But the only reason I-"

_Shut up! This is the best idea you have._


	29. Chapter 29

So that was the conundrum. Let down your guard for a long shot, or keep it up for no shot. Except he might come up with a better plan if he kept his guard up, and he wasn't sure how to go about letting down his guard. But really, what did he have to lose? There was no way to escape the 'surprise', there was only one way out, and She'd catch him by then. He had to _try_, after all, or She'd surely ki-

_But what if She wasn't going to kill him?_ Maybe he really _was_ letting paranoia get the best of him. It wasn't like she had said "prepare to die", right? He'd deserved it when She'd hurt him before. Now he didn't, and he'd apologised, and that was all behind them, right? He was being silly. All he had to do was trust Her, and-

No, it wasn't _working_! He couldn't push his hatred past the back of his mind. And he had to get rid of it. Just delete it, or maybe go back to before-

What if he hacked himself? It couldn't be that hard, could it? Well, it could, but- _Stop being stupid. Well, I guess I can't exactly _do _that, but I-_

…

_-I'm not stupid, dammit._ He shifted a little, blinking rapidly._ I read Machiavelli. I'm. Not. Stupid. And I- I'm going to prove it. I'm going to try that, and it's _going to work_. _He took another look at this surroundings, hardly processing them, then closed his eyes and froze, trying to feel for himself in the same way he felt for the GUI of anything attached to him.

-He didn't have a GUI, or even a type of code that he could read. Just layers and layers of binary. Layers that he was too scared to alter in any way, for fear of corrupting himself somehow.

Should… should he be able to understand this? The fact that he couldn't made rage and self-loathing rise up in his mind, but when he really thought about it, well, _no. You can't understand yourself. That just, you can't simulate a universe in perfect detail without creating something larger than the universe, although I don't know why you'd want to do that. And if I were only in approximate detail, then I wouldn't be thinking about this right now._

_Okay, I'm not sure if that's relevant or not, file it away. I just need to be quiet, figure everything out logically- But I am being quiet. No, no I'm not, I'm thinking too messily. Who cares, the question is, what question should I probably be asking myself right now?_

_Well, assuming I know what I'm thinking about, I should be asking myself what question I should probably be asking myself right now! And I am. Isn't that- nonono, other than that._

And it was so obvious. _Am I going to blame myself, or GLaDOS? _He laughed. _It's been so long, and I never decided, or even thought to ask myself? Wow, I really can be… no, thinking about that won't help at all. _

Well, he wanted the plan to work, didn't he? _It's my fault. Everything that ever happened was my fault, and I'm okay with that. See? I shouldn't have ever tried to escape in the first place. I'm not human, it's not my place anyway. I'm too gullible, too easily-influenced by outside sources, and I- I'm wrong most of the time._

_See, that wasn't so hard, was it?_

He laughed again, and that hysterical edge to it didn't remind him _at all_ of that moment when the bulk of the facility had stopped making him want to pull agoraphobically in on himself and he'd realised that everything was his plaything, because he _was _the facility and- no, not at all. Why would you even think that?


	30. Chapter 30

I have only three words with which to explain the sporadic updates as of late:

DAMN YOU, HOMESTUCK.

-At which point he was immediately faced with the question of _what to do. _After all, there was little that _could_ be done, and being free was at times suspiciously similar to not being free. He supposed that even if he could leave Aperture, he'd still be bound there, by fear, and by the fact that no matter how much he'd started to hate it, he'd never been anywhere else. In the end, the only reason he'd _truly_ considered leaving was because he would surely die or become trapped somewhere if it had continued deteriorating.

And now that was fixed?

If it was fixed, he had no real compulsion, no real excuse, to try to escape. If he tried, he would be punished accordingly, and- _let's be honest here- I'm a liability already. She would be entirely justified in culling me, after all, if it were for the good of Science._

_But if I really am a liability, then what would the harm be in letting me go? I haven't done anything to warrant that! But She'd probably ki-_

_Nonono, I trust Her, remember? Grrr. You're a m… moron, you've completely misestimated people before, so there is no, I repeat, NO reason for you not to do that now._

_UN. DER. STAND?_

He hit the white- no, wait, it was _black_- panel in front of him, having moved forward dramatically on the last word. It hurt, but he tried to shrug it off a quickly as possible. _You really, really need to stop spacing out for no reason._

He caught himself thinking what he had so often thought during that he-didn't-even-care-how-long-it-was-at-this-point break- _something exciting happen soon, please, NOW. _He considered asking Her to get on with it, but if he let on that it was bothering him, She would just wait another week.

Because he was a horrible core and obviously deserved it, he tacked on.

…

…

Boredom…

…

…

_Okay,_ He decided, _This is accomplishing nothing. You need to ask yourself some questions, look at things _objectively_, and figure out your next course of action._

_What do I want? Freedom, mostly._

_How do I get it? Convince Her to let me go._

_What obstacles are there? The fact that she hates me._

_How do I get rid of those? Be nicer than humanly possible._

_How do I do that? Give Her what She wants. Which I should do anyway, after all._

_What does She want? I'm not sure, but I'm going to say that it's for me to suffer and then die. Having nothing I can do is obviously the way in which she wants me to suffer._

_I guess I should just sit here…_

_And…_

_Think…_

…

_That worked better than I thought it would._


End file.
